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WHAT IS DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY
A dysfunctional family is mainly caused by problematic emotional and behavioural issues that result in constant conflicts, abuse and unhappiness at home.
Some of the more obvious issues are:
Abusiveness - this could be verbal, physical, emotional or even sexual abuse between parents or to the child, creating immense harm to body and mind
Addiction - parents who are addicted to drugs, alcohol, gambling, crimes and other vices, bringing havoc and harm to the family
Death, Sickness, Violence - incidents of tragical death, suicides. critical illness, family violence
Scandals and Crisis - major family upheavals such as marital affairs, bitter divorce, business failures, financial bankruptcy, resulting in family breakups and downfall
These events are usually intensive and often result in massive emotional upheavals and instability in the family.
However, there are also family behavioural issues that may not seem as traumatic but the daily dramas are in fact, as harmful and dysfunctional.
Gender-bias - parents who tend to carry traditional gender-bias preferring sons over daughters. Some consequential behaviour could be unfair treatment and demand of daughters to look after and sacrificing for their brothers
Authoritarian parenting - harsh parenting styles where punishment and humiliation are often used as a means to discipline the child. These parents also tend to control the child's freedom and often force their own expectations and choices onto the child
Emotional absence - family members (between parents, parent-child, between siblings) rarely communicate and show little affection towards each other. Everyone in the household is living their own life, with no care and concern for each other
Money-dramas - family is often entangled in money-related conflicts and insecurity issues. This could be seen between parents, parent-child, grandparents or within extended family
Negativity and toxicity - parents who tend to project their own sufferings and regrets onto their child, channelling all their emotions via anger or crying in front of their child
Clinginess - some parents may place extreme pressures onto the child to provide for their needs, especially financially. They may resort to emotional blackmailing and manipulation which bring upon self-guilt and shame on the child
While parents are the most immediate contributor to a dysfunctional family, everyone in the family space do play a part in the entire saga. This may include grandparents, siblings, close relatives and of course, the child himself or herself.
HOW DOES DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY CREATE ADULTHOOD PROBLEMS
Many of us are unaware of how our childhood subconsciously shape our adult life experiences, until we finally connect the dots.
The is mainly because of the nature of our subconscious mind. As soon as any memory becomes a part of the subconscious system, we no longer pay attention to them. In a way, we forgot that they existed.
Here are some examples of how childhood experiences may become adulthood attachments:
Fear of Authority - A child who used to get punished for dis-obeying the father, may grow up with a subconscious tendency of people-pleasing and afraid to say "no". However, he or she may assume that this is their personal weakness without realising the influence from childhood days
Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms - A child who grew up in an alcoholic family may have the tendency to rely on alcohols or other substances as a means to deal with life issues and numb his emotional problems
Abusive Relationships - A child who grew up witnessing the unhappy mother and abusive father, either carries strong resistance towards having an intimate relationship or is unknowingly drawn to abusive partners
Self-Esteem Issues - A child who is always criticised for being stupid and lazy by the mother, often grow up exercising the same behaviour as an adult - frequently changing jobs, constantly struggling with financial and personal issues
If you are struggling with life issues related to money, love, work and self-esteem, you might want to check-in on your childhood and growing up experience. They may hold the key to liberate yourself from these repeated issues in life.
YOUR DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY DOES NOT DEFINE WHO YOU ARE
Most of my clients came to me with issues related to marriage, career, family or self. As I work with them to decode these problems through emotional healing, we often see the root stemming from self-worth issues. And the perception of unworthiness is often a result of growing up in a dysfunctional family.
As a child, we easily associate our self-identity with our family. The responses from our mother and father are cues we take, to learn about ourselves, our strengths, our weaknesses, our likeability.
In a dysfunctional family where emotions either run high or run dry, the belief system about who we are began to take root. While instinctively, we sort of know our traits and values, the noises from our childhood create doubt and confusion.
Do not let the falsehood beliefs about who you are continuing to affect your life experience. If you have come this far in my website, it is a sign that the divine timing of your awakening and transformation has arrived.
If you are unable to decipher whether dysfunctional family is your root issue, do not worry. The whole purpose of the therapy is to help you in this discovery.
Find time to start your healing, I look forward to seeing you in my studio.
EMOTIONAL HEALING THERAPY
Silvia Siow
Emotional Healer & Coach
shan@shan-living.com
If you are seeking positive change and ready to release your emotions, I welcome you to experience the unique power of Emotional Healing Therapy.
The therapy engages holistic and intuitive mind-body techniques to help you reveal and resolve the real underlying causes of your emotional issues and life challenges.
If you are unfamiliar with this school of healing modality, feel free to book a non-obligatory call to find out if my healing and coaching approach suit your needs.
Otherwise, do continue to check out more information in this website that may help you gain more understanding about emotional healing.