Week #4: Managing Stress From Self


We have covered the 3 aspects of stress from clients, workplace and home. This week we will talk about self-inflicted stress - which is probably the most challenging of them all.

The Top 3 Reasons For Our Own Stress


How many times have you doubted yourself this week when things go wrong? Do you often measure your own success based on how the world sees you? Do you love feeding on compliments and recognition from others? Sense of worthiness seems to be both an antidote and poison that we were all born with. It can drive us to become a better person but it can also easily steer us towards self-destruction. As a therapist, I do see the common pattern amongst my clients that most of their issues, whether in relationship, career or health, often originated from feeling unworthy (undeserving of good things in life) and worthlessness (of no importance and value).

This subconscious limiting belief is probably one the biggest culprit of our inner stress. There is a constant nagging feeling that no matter how much we have accomplished, we are never good enough. And someone else is always better. We are never satisfied with who we are because we tend to focus on our lack and weaknesses rather than our authenticity and strengths.

Mindfulness and meditation help us learn to shift our attention away from outside noises, into our true self. When we stay connected with our inner being, we possess a more balanced view of ourselves.


The second cause of stress is our desire to make everything happen according to exactly what we want. Of course, 99% of the time, it doesn't. Even if it does, it might not be what we have imagined or expected. Hence, the desire to take control of how every detail of our life unfolds is a booby trap that constantly create frustrations, anger, resentment and all sorts of associated negative emotions that arise from disappointment.

Mindfulness and meditation brings us to the deeper awareness of profound magnitude of life, beyond our limited imagination and understanding.

Just like anchoring the wandering mind on the incoming and outgoing breaths, we simply allow our life to flow in harmony with the universe. An important mastery here is to have faith that the universe always have your back, as long as you allow things to happen in its divine timing. #3 REGRETTING THE PAST, WORRYING THE FUTURE

"Being in the present moment" is often the key philosophy of mindfulness and meditation. A concept so simple but enormously difficult to attain.

Whether we are in movement or stillness, our Mind is constantly rewinding to memories of the past and fast forwarding to the expectations of the future. As a result, we have no awareness of what we are doing on hand.

Consequently, when we don't pay attention to our tasks at hand, we put our energy body and mind into chaos and disorder. Distractions, multi-tasking, inability to stay focused all contribute directly to our further mental stress.

"The past is history, the future is mystery and today is a gift, that's why it's called the present."

Perhaps, we can't alter the past or control the future, but we can certainly change the present by simply shifting our mindset. When we modify the current experience, a new outcome will be produced and ironically, you will realise that you had magically changed your past and your future.

Practising meditation is a self-mastery process to tackle these internal stressors. By building a new habit of introspection, deep awareness and mental control, we take back the power of a happier experience in our life.


What is Self-care? Does going for a pampering spa or a nice long vacation or a big night partying constitute "taking good care of myself"?

Self-care goes deeper than just superficial pleasure, it is a deliberate way of living where one takes good care of the physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of life.

#1 Holistic

The objective behind self-care is one based on holistic wellness, balanced living and authentic happiness. Hence, although superficial pleasures may help us relieve stress instantly like a pain-killer, they do not remove the weeds off our garden.

#2 Simplicity

Self-care can come in the simplest forms such as sitting in silence, paying attention to our breaths, taking a mindful walk in nature. When we allow simplicity to bring us inner peace, we learn to appreciate the little things that make up our bigger life.

#3 Kindness

Self-care includes having positive inner dialogues. We speak to ourselves in loving kindness instead of harsh criticism. We think, feel, speak and do everything in alignment with authentic truth instead of ego, greed and ignorance. We always choose joy and kindness over anger and hurt.

To apply all these easy instructions onto our complicated modern life is perhaps the bigger challenge we all face. Which in turn, brought about stress in our lives.

Mindfulness and meditation is a tool and technique that can help us tune into ourselves, take back control of our wandering mind and take good care of our body, mind and spirit.


This week we will combine all the techniques you have learned in the last 3 sessions to create a self-care meditation practice.

If you are keen to reset your life by adopting a whole new wellness regime, here is a 4R-framework you can use:

  1. Reflect

  2. Release

  3. Reset

  4. Relax

Come join me as I'll demonstrate how you can create this 4-step self-care routine for yourself. After this program, you can dedicate a 60 minutes, once a week, session to continue this regime.

>>Back To MainPage

>>Check Out Week #1

>>Check Out Week #2

>>Check Out Week #3


Dear App Annies, if you have any question regarding the exercises or the topic, feel free to leave your comments below, I will be sure to reply them. Otherwise, you can also email me at shan@shan-living.com

Love & Light,


3 views0 comments


210 Telok Ayer Street 3rd Floor

Singapore 068643

Email: shan@shan-living.com

©2019 by Shan Living.

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • YouTube
  • LinkedIn
Subscribe for Daily Videos, Blogs, New Classes & More.