The hardest thing about pain is to let it go.
What is it that make us cling on to our pain, despite how much it hurts ? Why we can't stop being miserable and continue to suffer, even long after the pain event is over?
That is because in our subconsciousness, we are still fighting and unwilling to let go.
One of the key things that I always emphasise in healing pain, is to let it go. If you truly want to liberate your life, your soul and your heart, you cannot afford to keep pain in your body.
By letting go, I mean bringing deep awareness to the inner pain that you are holding on to, work on forgiveness and self-love, and eventually put a closure to the pain event.
To enable this pain healing process to unfold, there is one thing we need to do. We need to first reset our relationship with pain into a more positive one.
Get rid of the negative bias we have towards our pain and shift our attitude, at least, to more neutral point.
And the best way to do this? Well, you will have to know the truths about why pain is designed to exist in our life.
I hope by the end of the third and final truth that I am going to reveal to you, you will be ready to take on an entirely new outlook about pain and suffering.
TRUTH #1: Every Pain Signifies A New Beginning
Whenever I can't find the answer to my existential questions, I always look into mother nature for a clue.
So what could be a natural reason for pain to exist in our life?
In fact, all of us were introduced to pain as the very experience when we arrived into this world. That is why we all cried when we were born.
Can you imagine that total state of chaos, fear and anxiety for our poor little soul? As our water bubble burst and we start to get crushed through a narrow cervix, dealing with the emotional trauma of going through that dark tunnel, hearing that painful screaming of our mother, not knowing what is going on.
Everytime I think of this, I cannot help but feel amazed at this ingenius design of our grand entry into the world through pain. Is it trying to prepare us for more of it later, or there is actually a hidden message behind it?
It is through the observation of this birth nature that brought me to the realisation that pain in our life could be giving us a secret sign WHENEVER a new beginning is coming for us.
Well, we all need to grow. Not just physically but in every aspect of our life. In order to allow that, our life force will have to discard anything that does not serve us anymore, to create new space for the new phase that is arriving.
Just like the butterfly will have to abandon and emerge from its cocoon when it is time to fly, no matter how comfortable or important it thinks the cocoon is.
So when it is time for our change to happen, it is the same thing, we may need to let go of a person, a job, a place or an old self-belief, no matter how much we want to keep it.
Well I know that these radical life changes that involve losing something or someone in our life, maybe extremely difficult and painful to accept, speaking from my own experience when I lost my father at the age of 16. I had carried that pain in me for a very long time, without me even knowing.
And almost two decades later, when I finally brought my deeper awareness to my inner pain and healed it, for the first time in my life, I felt liberated.
I also drew a lot of great life lessons through my pain experience in dealing with the grievance of my loss and the anger of feeling abandoned. But without these life lessons, I would not have been who I am today, pursuing my dream and my life calling to serve as a healer.
So the moment I cross over these darkness and found myself at the other end of the tunnel, my TRUE life began.
And that is exactly what I want you to know that the same can happen for your pain experience too.
TRUTH #2: Pain Is Part of The Happiness We Seek
Pain actually needs to exist in order for happiness to happen.
Let me try to explain this logic using the ancient laws of the universe.
I am sure all of you are familiar with law of attraction, it is actually extracted from a set of 12 universal laws that govern how the nature of life works. Amongst these 12 laws there is another one known as Law of Polarity.
The Law of polarity states that within the whole, there is always a complementary opposite sides to it.
The easiest way to understand this is to look at the design of a coin that has two sides but in fact it is only one coin, the two sides are simply the two extremes of the same thing.
There is a same philosophy in ancient china, which is known as I-Ching. It will probably ring a bell if I say yin and yang. It is the similar concept, that duality exist in everything of our life. That's why in the yin and yang symbol you can see a white dot in the black space and a black dot in the white space. Symbolising that there is always something good in something bad and equally something bad in something good.
So, coming back to Law of polarity, if happiness is the coin, what do you think will be the complementary opposite sides of happiness?
Yes, the answer is pain and pleasure.
Law of polarity states that in order for a source to exist, both complementary sides have to exist.
If we apply this principle into the pain and pleasure for happiness. You will see that we won't be able to get any happiness if there is only one side of pain or only one side of pleasure!
Pain is there to complement pleasure, and vice versa so that we can happiness holds in our life!
Let me bring you a step deeper into this rationale.
Polarity or duality present to all of us the opportunity to compare, comprehend and hence be able to choose what we prefer in our life wisely.
You know it is only when we tasted bitterness that we now have a deeper knowing of how sweetness taste like and hence, how much more we actually prefer sweetness.
You have probably heard of the famous quote "ask and it shall be given." But the problem is most of us don’t know what to ask because we are not sure what we want.
Have you hear stories of how someone who used to choose work over health and family, fell critically sick and when they recovered from the near death experience, they totally changed their lifestyle, into a more balanced and loving one?.
Such crisis not only makes us appreciate more of what we have but more importantly, this is where I want you to pay attention, the pain also stimulates the basic instinct within us to now know what we actually prefer.
When this happens, we begin to activate and accelerate the momentum to attract the life qualities we want such as happiness, love, joy and abundance into our life path. When we ask, we shall be given.
Someone who has not gone through deep pain experiences in their life, will not have the basic instinct to ask for pleasurable experiences simply because they tend to take them for granted. So when they don’t ask or stop asking, the pleasurable experiences will eventually fade off. And that's how a joyless life come about.
So when you are experiencing your pain, don't just get suck into all the bad things that are happening to you but use this opportunity to create a conscious choice of what you truly prefer in your life.
If your pain experience made you realise that you desire inner peace in life, or true love built upon unconditional trust, then look up into the sky and ask for it.
It is probably crude to say this but don't waste your pain and suffering.
Your pain experience is actually offering you the chance to choose what you want and then send your request to your universe, so that they can give it to you.
TRUTH #3: Your Deepest Pain Holds Your Biggest Life Purpose
Now let us reveal the 3rd and the final hidden secret for pain to exist in our life. And this is actually my personal favourite because it happened to me.
If you are someone who has been going through a long-standing period of painful ups and downs in your life, and you have come to a point of standstill where you suddenly have this deep inner sense of void or emptiness, and you begin to ask existential questions about your purpose on earth. This is the moment for you to tap into your pain journey to find the hidden answers.
As a healer, I had see time and time again, how the messages of our life purpose are so often beautifully embedded in our pain experiences. Awaiting for us to unlock them the moment we awaken.
I had seen this in my personal pain journey where I finally found my true calling to serve in the space of healing works.
I had seen my client who had been a victim of gender bias in the family and workplace, found her purpose in using her passion in writing and journalism to become the voice of women who are suffering in silence .
I had also seen my client who had rebound from her depression, who is now inspired to share her journey through art therapy with those who are also struggling in depression.
And another client who had suffered from bullying since childhood, found her healing passion in yin yoga and is now aspired to teach it to the children to cope with stress.
Now that said, sometimes, life purpose could be just a life lesson that we want to transcend in this lifetime.
I had a seen a client who was unable to conceive a child for many years, finally succeeded, when she resolved her long-time resentment towards her own neglecting mother. When she finally healed her pain through learning forgiveness and unconditional love, she unlock her fear of being a mother herself.
Another client who was struggling with the pain of having an abusive and violent boyfriend, finally came to her senses of taking back her power. The moment she realised the life lesson of self-love, she found the courage to let go of the toxic relationship and choose to live a self-empowered life.
So there is a life purpose or a big life lesson that is hidden in our deepest pain. It doesn’t take luck or privilege to find the answers, all you need is pay attention to your pain and heal it.
Don't hate it, fight it or turn your face away from it. When you do that, you are missing out these little treasures hidden in them that are meant to lead you into a life of greater happiness and fulfilment.
And that is how you can heal your pain and even transform your pain into your life's biggest gain.
If you are keen to find out your life purpose hidden in your pain experience, there is a topic that you'll need to go deeper. And that is learning about your subconsciousness. Part of my healing process is to help you tap into the answers in your subconsciousness. Click on this link if you want to find out more.
The above is a partial transcript of my video.
WATCH THE VIDEO AS I REVEAL 3 EASY STEPS YOU CAN TAKE TO RESET YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH PAIN & 3 SIGNS YOU CAN WATCH OUT FOR THAT YOU HAVE CHANGED THAT PAIN RELATIONSHIP!
OR LISTEN TO THE PODCAST VERSION:
When your old life isn't healed,
your new life wouldn't start.
No matter what pain you are going through right now,
let me help you get through it,
the right way.
EMOTION HEALING THERAPY